Losing a Loved one

December 12, 6am, was the time I got the call from my mother. My cousin had called my Grandparents whom called my mother. My aunt, 48 yrs old, was found dead in her home. We were all in shock as it was very unexpected. Not knowing anything other than that anything and everthing raced through my mind. My mom had just talked to her a couple of days before hand and she had seemed to be doing well. She had receive DH and I's Christmas card and she was happy to know we were thinging of her. After a couple of days of agonizing waiting, we received news that she was diasnosed at the begining of the week with stage 4 liver cancer. We were told she was found in bed with her pj's still on. Knowing or thinking that she went peacfully, and painlessly makes it a little easier to cope. I am so so very thankful she was able to attend our wedding this past August and visit with family, not knowing it would be the last time we were all able to be together as a family.

Service arrangement are still in negotiation but will most likly be held this weekend. Thank you to everyone what have been praying and thinking of my family in this time of hurt.

Frustrated

I am feeling so useless at this piont. I am sick of everything! The more I chart and temp and POAS the more frustrated, depressed, and obsessed I get. Before using the OPK I thought I could tell when I O'd but clearly not since it is CD, what, 26. According to FF I should O before friday with tommorrow being the most likely day. OPK just seem to be putting me farther away from my dream. They are staying the same almost non exsistant line as when I started about a week ago. I'm about to say F**K it to the whole thing!!! But I would be so bored and miss the GPers. eeeeerrrrr!!!!

If I ever ovulate!!

I know I have long cycles, but my god!! I am just going crazy waiting! This is my first month using OPK and I have been so disappointed having got 3 (-). Sunday Morning I had an awsome temp rise, and then this morning it went back down. My predicted O day is betweek yesterday (Sunday) and Friday, But most likely on CD29, which is Wednesday. I am hoping and praying that I O this week. That way I can POAS for Christmas Eve (14 DPO) and hopfully see what I have been waiting for! Until then I am just going to have to drive myself insane!!!

Begining a Blog

DH and I are on Cycle #4 of TTC our first child. I have seen alot of the other GP girls getting into blogging and I have deceided I would like to have something to keep track of how I feel through this journey and other journeys after this. I hope you all enjoy reading and I wish you all the best of luck on your personal journeys!

Toodles!