Yesterday I went back to the Dr for the first time since discontinuing the Metformin. I have been a little depressed and discouraged for a couple months but I am now starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Doc has me taking Provera, which I will start tommorrow, to bring on AF. Hopefully by the first week of May she will be here. Days 3-7 I will take Clomid. I will continue this for 3 months and I will go back in, in July, but hopefully it will be sooner and for another reason! ; )

My doc was so surprised I knew so much. When he was telling me he was going to give me something to bring on AF and I said "Provera?" He looked at me like WOW! He said it is good to know what is going on and is glad I have taken the time to research and educate myself because alot of woman have no idea!

DH is so awsome though all of this and he is just more relaxed and feels better whe he sees that I am feeling more positive and upbeat about the whole thing. For someone who told my mother "he cant make girls" (lol this was a couple years ago when he wanted a boy and nothing else(before TTC)) Now all he wants is a girl! I know he will be ecstatic either way but once his neice was born and he saw how delicate and beautiful they are it made him want one! Now his sister is having a girl and is due in June so he will get some good "girl" Practice!

Taking a little break....

Not from TTC, just from all the other aditives that drive me freaking insane. I am already on day 62 again. 7 days until my next Dr. appt and I can't wait. I am hoping and praying it is time for Clomid!

I was at a wedding shower this past weekend and DH's cousins wife and I got to talking and I learned she has had some issues herself and actually got pg with her DS on cycle 2 of Clomid. That let me be a little more hopeful of Clomid, since I have mostly heard good results from it, but knowing my luck it won't do shit for me!

I have just been down and depressed about the whole thing and have actually talked myself into not charting or chatting on GP. It just makes me feel worse. No offense to any of the ladies cause they are God sent! It's just a personal decision. I do lurk ;) once in awhile, just not all day everyday!

I will still be blogging when I think of it and I am still around if anyone is wondering how I am. Just shoot me a PM or comment on here! GL to all of you!

Time to relax

It is finally Friday! I have been waiting for this day all week! I also cant wait for my Dr. appt on April 15th. Thur morning I woke up to some bleeding. It was bright red and had a large clot so I figured it was AF and was actually happy that I had a cycle less than 80 days! Well...as the day went on nothing else happened, dry as the desert. WTF! So I changed that to spotting in FF instead of light and it gave me back my damn cycle.

No plans for the weekend except a nail appt tommorrow morning. I like not having plans. DH and I can go w/ the flow and do whatever we want. I do want to get to Old Navy and get in some retail therapy.

This is a pic of the gift we gave DH's pg sister. The pic was before I wrapped the celophane and added a pretty bow. As you can see she is having a girl, Mackenzie Rose. I do not like it but hey, not my choice!

Monday, again!

Life is on a plateau right now. Sometimes I feel like it's standing still and everyday is the same things over and over again.

However, I am very, very proud of myself. I had mentioned on Friday that DH wanted to go to Babies R' Us to get some things for his pg sister. I did not cry once! We ended up getting a pink tub and a bunch of stuff to put in it and I wrapped it in cellophane. I took a pic before it was wrapped but it's on the camera still. We gave it to her on Saturday when she had come by and she was genuinely happy and hugged us. Her and I have been getting along a lot better these days, but we also did when she was pg with her DS and then after it all went to hell in a hand basket.

I was sad to the core but DH was being very supportive. Telling me it would be our turn soon and showing me the things he liked for when it is our turn! DH and I had been on eggshells for a couple days. He works 2 jobs and sometimes he just gets aggravated and takes it out on me. I pretty much told him off on Saturday morning and things have been so much better since then. sometimes those men just need a good kick in the junk!

Still trying

After talking with my Dr. last week he decided to take me off of the Metformin. He said that I should not have been that sick and I could possibly be allergic to something in it. This is the best thing that has happened to me in the past month! Although it is going to be harder for me to naturally regulate myself, at least I can do it without feeling like poop.

We are still trying even though chances of ovulation are very slim. I go back to the Dr. next month and hopfully he will have another idea for me.

Everything happens for a reason and everthing in life has a purpose. Our time will come, I have confident of that. I just hope it will be sooner than later!

(untitled)

I have been feeling the wrath of Metformin for way to long and I can no longer keep on this face that I am ok. After over a month on it and being sick 24/7 I had a breakdown last night.

I am physically and mentally exhausted. It's not that I don't want to do anything and everything I can to become pregnant, but this is just to much to put myself through. DH talked me into waiting to see the Dr. I have come so long already that what's another couple days at this point and of course I called to make an appt and they are closed on Thursdays, just my luck! So I will be calling 1st thing tommorrow morning. Hopefully there is something to counteract the side effects or something else I can take in the place of Metformin. If not I think I am just going to forgo it and TTC naturally.

If it is meant to be then it will happen whether it is now or months from now. I want to be able to live my life and not have to be couped up at home because I am afraid of getting sick everywhere I go! I havent been able to go and have a nice time out with DH for over 3 weeks now and I feel bad for him.

DH has been more than supportive and was so kind and conciderate last night when I was breakingdown. He keeps asking what he can do to help, and the truth is that there isnt anything anyone other than the Dr. and myself can do. I told him to just love me and be there for me emotionally and that is all I need from him right now, O and his little swimmers! lol.

Starting over

I was more than enthused when AF actually came my way...finally after a 80 some odd day cycle, and I am even more thrilled to not be bleeding at all! Not even spotting! So today I started to temp again. I am hoping and praying I finally see that temp jump and some CH's after about 6 months of charting!!

The side effects are becoming more mild (knock on wood!). I can eat without running to the bathroom. It's nice to be able to go places with DH even if its just the grocery store. This weekend I am having a Pampered Chef show. It will be the first time any of my family has seen our cute little humble abode. I have tommorrow off to bring my lil pooch to the vet and to clean and get ready for company.

The whole being pg thing has been bothering me more lately. I am trying to keep my brave face on for DH but in reality everytime I see a little bundle of joy I wanna ball my eyes out. DH just keeps telling me "It will happen when its meant to happen." I wanna beleive that so bad but its just so hard to beleive. I feel like my time will never come!

But enough "whoa is me" shit....this is my last day of work this week and then another nice 3 day weekend with the hubby!