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I have been feeling the wrath of Metformin for way to long and I can no longer keep on this face that I am ok. After over a month on it and being sick 24/7 I had a breakdown last night.

I am physically and mentally exhausted. It's not that I don't want to do anything and everything I can to become pregnant, but this is just to much to put myself through. DH talked me into waiting to see the Dr. I have come so long already that what's another couple days at this point and of course I called to make an appt and they are closed on Thursdays, just my luck! So I will be calling 1st thing tommorrow morning. Hopefully there is something to counteract the side effects or something else I can take in the place of Metformin. If not I think I am just going to forgo it and TTC naturally.

If it is meant to be then it will happen whether it is now or months from now. I want to be able to live my life and not have to be couped up at home because I am afraid of getting sick everywhere I go! I havent been able to go and have a nice time out with DH for over 3 weeks now and I feel bad for him.

DH has been more than supportive and was so kind and conciderate last night when I was breakingdown. He keeps asking what he can do to help, and the truth is that there isnt anything anyone other than the Dr. and myself can do. I told him to just love me and be there for me emotionally and that is all I need from him right now, O and his little swimmers! lol.

Starting over

I was more than enthused when AF actually came my way...finally after a 80 some odd day cycle, and I am even more thrilled to not be bleeding at all! Not even spotting! So today I started to temp again. I am hoping and praying I finally see that temp jump and some CH's after about 6 months of charting!!

The side effects are becoming more mild (knock on wood!). I can eat without running to the bathroom. It's nice to be able to go places with DH even if its just the grocery store. This weekend I am having a Pampered Chef show. It will be the first time any of my family has seen our cute little humble abode. I have tommorrow off to bring my lil pooch to the vet and to clean and get ready for company.

The whole being pg thing has been bothering me more lately. I am trying to keep my brave face on for DH but in reality everytime I see a little bundle of joy I wanna ball my eyes out. DH just keeps telling me "It will happen when its meant to happen." I wanna beleive that so bad but its just so hard to beleive. I feel like my time will never come!

But enough "whoa is me" shit....this is my last day of work this week and then another nice 3 day weekend with the hubby!

So here it is! I am blonde again. I am still getting used to it and I am not sure I like it all that much. I'm just so used to being brunette. Don't I look so enthused in these pics! lol It was in my driveway before I left for work, so im still half asleep!

I have been feeling a little better. Still nauseas as hell but I have been getting hungry, which I haven't felt in weeks, and haven't been sick (knock on wood) for 2 whole days! Saturday I am suppossed to up my dose for the last time but I think I will wait until sunday. I do not want to be having a wonderful valentines night w/ DH and get sick in the middle of it! We will see....

I have to get to work now, not that there is much to do but I have to pretend! Thanks for the thoughts!

Metformin is kicking my A$$!!

Day 15 on Metformin, Day 5 of my 1000mg dose. I thought the nausea and diarrhea was bad on 500mg, boy was I in for a surprise! I expected to feel it the first couple days but not like I did. I was pretty much couch bound all weekend due to these side effects.

The only good news is, is that after a 80 some odd (I lost count!!) day cycle I think I finally have AF. I dont feel like it is a "normal" period but it is a consistant flow and I think that is all that it needs to qualify!

One another note, DH is finally done with school, well almost. He had his test yesterday but missed one manouver. No one in his class passed the test, and he was told in the begining the chances of passing the first try is very rare. He will be scheduled again in a week or so and will only have to re-do the one manouver he missed, which is good. But he was expexctedly upset and felt bad. I am so proud of him no matter what the situation. I'm just glad to have my husband back on the weekends!

I just got an email from out wedding photographer. She has finished the albumn and I already viewed it but I will view it over with DH this evening and let her know of any changes or anything. I am so excited! It looks so awsome!